Questions Concerning . . . . . "What is Divorce Dialogue?"
Q: I'm still living with my spouse and I don't know if we are going to separate or divorce. Is Divorce Dialogue right for me?
A: Yes. Even if you are not sure if you want to separate, the group discussions will help you decide whether to divorce or work toward a reconciliation.
If your spouse is threatening separation or divorce, the group discussions will help you decide 1) how hard to fight for a reconciliation and 2) how long to wait for your spouse to make up their mind. In either case we can help you gain control over your life.
Q: I feel I'm over my divorce. It's being single in the dating world that scares me. Should I be in Divorce Dialogue?
A: Absolutely. Divorce Dialogue not only helps members through divorce but is designed to explore all the issues people face once they are past the divorce and single again. We talk about "How can I ever trust again?" or "When do I know I'm ready to date?"
Questions Concerning . . . . . "Why Join A Support Group?"
Q: Why should I join Divorce Dialogue instead of another divorce support group? Aren't they all the same?
A: No. Every divorce support group is different, both in the format of the group and how the leader runs the group.
Rob Kaufman, who founded Divorce Dialogue, is a licensed psychotherapist (a Licensed Clinical Social Worker) and has been facilitating divorce support groups for over 24 years. He has helped all kinds of people with all kinds of divorce problems. Many members have stayed in the group over a year because of Rob. Some members have even reconciled with their spouse and remained in the group because they have learned so much about relationships.
Questions Concerning . . . . . "How Divorce Dialogue Works"
Q: Do I have to socialize with other members? What if I don't want to?
A: No one is obligated to socialize if they don't want to. Many of our members have lost their old network of friends to the divorce. Some only have married friends who don't really understand what it feels like to go through divorce and so members welcome meeting and socializing with new friends from the group who truly understand what they're going through.
Questions Concerning . . . . . "Who Are Our Members?"
Q: I was in a significant relationship, but never married, can I still join Divorce Dialogue?
A: Absolutely. While most members were or are still legally married, some members were never married but are going through a break up that is equally painful.
Q: I am widowed, is Divorce Dialogue still right for me?
A: While the death of a loved one can be every bit as difficult and painful as divorce we have learned that the transitions and adjustments are very different. Because of this we feel that a divorce support group would not be appropriate for those who are widowed.
Q: I feel I am over my divorce, but I was in a significant relationship following my divorce which recently ended and I am in a lot of pain. Can I join Divorce Dialogue?
A: Yes. Most members are struggling with the anguish of their divorce but for some the break-up of a subsequent relationship is even more painful than their divorce.
Q: How large is the group? Is there a limit on how many members can be in the group?
A: The maximum number of members in a group is around fifteen, give or take one or two.
Q: If the group is full how long will I have to wait to join?
A: Most of the time there are openings in the group. However, when the group is full generally there will be an opening in a very short time. When there is a waiting list people are called on a first come first served basis.
Questions Concerning . . . . . "How Much Does Divorce Dialogue Cost?"
Q: If each four-week series is $100, is the cost really $25 each week?
A: Not really. The fee is per series, not per week. Each four-week series is like a four-week class where you pay in advance for the entire class and not each week when the class meets.
Q: What if I don't continue after the 1st meeting, is it still $100?
A: If after your first meeting you decide that Divorce Dialogue is not the right support group for you, we will refund $65 - so the total cost if you attend only one meeting is $35 ($100 less the $65 refund).
Q: Do I have to stay in the group a minimum number of meetings?
A: Each series is four weeks long. You are welcome to stay in the group for as many four-week series as you would like.
Q: What if I miss a meeting, can I make it up later, say in the fifth week?
A: Each series is four consecutive weeks long. If a meeting is missed it cannot be made up later. However, if you know in advance that you will be missing two or more meetings in a four-week series you can elect to pay $35 for each meeting. For example, if you are about to begin a four-week series and you know that you will attend week 1, then miss weeks 2 and 3 because of a prior commitment, and will attend week 4 - simply pay $70 ($35 x 2 meetings) for weeks 1 and 4.
|
Week 1 |
Week 2 |
Week 3 |
Week 4 |
| Attendance |
Attended as Planned |
Absent as Planned |
Absent as Planned |
Attended as Planned |
| Amount Paid |
$35 |
$0 |
$0 |
$35 |
Q: What if I plan to miss more than 2 meetings but then my plans change and I don't miss any meetings - do I still have to pay $35 a meeting for a total of $140 for the four-week series?
A: Absolutely not. The fee is never more than $100 per four-week series even if you plan to miss some and end up missing only one or none at all. For example, if you are about to begin a four-week series and you plan to attend weeks 1 and 2, then miss weeks 3 and 4 because of a prior commitment, and end up unexpectedly attending week 4 - simply pay $70 ($35 x 2 meetings) for weeks 1 and 2 and then pay $30 for week 4 ($70 paid + $30 balance = $100).
|
Week 1 |
Week 2 |
Week 3 |
Week 4 |
| Attendance |
Attended as Planned |
Attended as Planned |
Absent as Planned |
Attended Unexpectedly |
| Amount Paid |
$70 |
Paid |
$0 |
$30 |
Q: What if I plan to miss the first meeting in the four-week series. Can I just skip that meeting and begin my four-week series the next week?
A: Once you join the group your first four-week series begins. You may not stop whenever you plan to not attend and then begin all over again when you plan to return to the group. You may only stop when you plan to leave the group which will leave an opening that may be filled by someone on the waiting list.
Q: What if a meeting falls on a Holiday and we don't meet, does that meeting count toward the four-week series?
A: Of course not. Only meetings where we actually meet with Rob Kaufman count toward your four-week series.
| Week 1 |
Week 2 |
Week 3 |
Week 4 |
Week 5 |
| 1st Meeting in Series |
2nd Meeting in Series |
Holiday (or Rob not available) |
3rd Meeting in Series |
4th Meeting in Series |
Q: What happens when Rob is ill or on vacation? Does the group meet without him and does that meeting count toward the four-week series?
A: No. Only meetings with Rob Kaufman count toward your four-week series. When Rob goes on vacation or is unable to attend a meeting for personal reasons that meeting does not count toward your four-week series. Usually the group does not meet when Rob is not available, but sometimes the group may decide to meet on their own, without Rob, maybe over dinner, for example, but that meeting does not count toward your four-week series.
Questions Concerning . . . . . "When Does The Group Meet?"
Q: Does the group meet any night other than Monday?
A: This is the only night the groups meet and there are no plans to either the day or offer additional days.
Q: Does the starting time of the group ever change?
A: These are the starting times for each group and there are no plans to change them.
Q: What if I'm in the Monday group and know I'm going to miss a meeting, can I make up the meeting by attending the Tuesday group for that week?
A: As mentioned above, if a meeting is missed it cannot be made up. However, if you wish to attend the meeting of the other group as part of your four-week series you may do so. Most members choose not to do this simply because they have gotten to know the people in their group and feel uncomfortable attending the other group only one time when they do not really know any of them.
Q: What if I'm not sure which group to join. Can I attend the Monday group one time and the Tuesday group one time and then decide which group to join?
A: Yes you may. Each meeting you attend will count toward the four meetings in your four-week series. For example, if you attend one Monday meeting and one Tuesday meeting and then decide to stay in the Monday group, you have already attended two meetings and will have two meetings left in your four-week series before beginning another four-week series.
Q: I am in a great deal of pain and need a lot of support. Can I join both the Monday and Tuesday groups?
A: Yes. Most members find they receive enough support in attending just one group. However, some people who are having an especially difficult time find the support of two groups and two nights each week is what they need for right now.
Q: If I join both the Monday and Tuesday groups must I commit to staying in both, even if I feel better later on and want to continue in only one group?
A: No. You are welcome to stay in both groups for however long you feel the need. Whenever the time comes that you feel you only need or want the support of one group you may remain in whichever group you prefer. You do not have to commit to both groups.
Q: If I join both the Monday and Tuesday groups do I pay for each group separately? How does that work?
A: You do not pay for each group separately. You sign up for a four-week series and as long as you are in both the Monday and Tuesday groups each Monday and Tuesday meeting will count toward the four meetings in your four-week series. For example, if you attend one Monday meeting and one Tuesday meeting you have already attended two meetings and will have two meetings left in your four-week series before beginning another four-week series.
Questions Concerning . . . . . "Where Does The Group Meet?"
Q: Why meet in homes? Why not in an office like other groups?
A: Divorce is difficult enough having to reveal our personal lives in courts and attorneys' offices. The informality and intimacy of a living room where members bring food to share, kick off their shoes and curl up on couches lends itself to the kind of comfort and support most look for during this painful time.
Q: Do I have to offer my home? What if I don't want to?
A: No one is obligated to offer their home. Only those who want to open up their living rooms to the group do so. Some members are not able to offer their home because they are still living with their spouse, or may have children around the house, or simply are not able to accommodate the group. Some members may not yet feel comfortable hosting the group. Whatever the reason, you never have to host the group if you do not want to.
Q: How is it decided where the meetings are held?
A: During the course of each meeting Rob asks the group who would like to offer his or her home for the next meeting. After one or more people volunteer their homes the group votes on which home to meet at and the majority rules.
Questions Concerning . . . . . "Who Facilitates the Group Meetings?"
Q: Does anyone other than Rob Kaufman lead the group?
A: No, only Rob Kaufman.
Q: What happens if Rob is ill or goes on vacation?
A: In theory, the group meeting is canceled when Rob is not available. In reality, if Rob is ill one night or he is on vacation for a couple of weeks, the group may decide to meet on its own without Rob - maybe for a pool party, a BBQ or over dinner. Whatever the group decides, the meetings without Rob never count toward your four-week series.
Q: How much does Rob Kaufman know about divorce?
A: Rob Kaufman, MSW is a Board Certified Psychotherapist - a Licensed Clinical Social Worker - with over 20 years experience counseling groups, individuals, couples, and families struggling with divorce. He is remarried after having been divorced for many years. Rob is the father of a son from a previous marriage, the step-father of two daughters, and a step-grandfather.
Q: What are Rob Kaufman's Educational Credentials?
A: See below:
Degrees
| MSW (Master of Social Welfare) |
University of California, Los Angeles |
1986 |
| LLM (Master of Laws) |
Georgetown University Law Center |
1979 |
| JD (Juris Doctor) |
California Western School of Law |
1978 |
| BA (Bachelor of Arts) |
University of Southern California |
1973 |
Internships
UCLA NeuroPsychiatric Institute & Hospital (1985-1986)
Mental Retardation, Child Psychiatry
Pasadena Child Guidance Clinic (1984-1985)
Currently Pacific Clinics
Professional Certifications
Board Certified Diplomate
American Board of Examiners in Clinical Social Work
Academy of Certified Social Workers
National Association of Social Workers
Qualified Clinical Social Worker
National Association of Social Workers
Diplomate in Clinical Social Work
National Association of Social Workers
Professional Memberships
American Board of Examiners in Clinical Social Work
California Society for Clinical Social Workers
National Association of Social Workers
Q: What is Rob Kaufman's Work Experience?
A: See below:
Work Experience
Divorce Dialogue - A Divorce Support Group
Founder, CEO & Facilitator
Since 1981
Private Practice
Since 1986
Aviva Family & Children's Services
Clinical Director
Vista Del Mar Child & Family Services
Social Worker
Instructor
University of Judaism (Wagner Program) - Parenting After Divorce
Everywoman's Village - Assertive Divorce
Learning Tree University - Couples Communication / Assertive Divorce
Santa Monica Community College (Extension) - Divorce Support Group
California State University, Los Angeles (Extension) - Assertive Divorce / Divorce Support Group
Q: How Do I Sign Up for Divorce Dialogue?
A: To register for Divorce Dialogue call Rob Kaufman at (818) 788-9567.
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